I am part of what is called in Adoption Circles "the triad". The triad consists of the birth mother, the adopting family and the baby. In my case I am an adoptee (baby) and a birth mother. Of course, this makes it more complicated than the usual. An adoptee has their own set of challenges - a gigantic tragic loss of their mother (and other family) at birth, transition to a new family, wondering why they were relinquished (nice word for being abandoned), wondering who their birth family is and what is their real background, etc? And no one ever looks like you, you have no birth story to speak of and yet those questions are asked constantly. "What nationality are you? Who do you look like? Where did you get your name?" Etc....it's actually surprising how often we talk about bloodlines and pedigrees and background and ethnicity as people. Certainly as children it seemed to be a constant topic of conversations. As an adoptee, sometimes I answered as though I was...

She belonged to no-one when she was born.  She came out of a woman, of course, but was never held by her, or cooed to by her, or nursed by her. It is uncertain whether the woman even ever actually looked at her.  She was weighed and measured and placed into a bassinet, next to the other babies who had mothers - real human mothers - and names. She remained nameless for quite a while. At first they called her by her father's last name. On her chart it said, "Baby McGee." The father named McGee had not been informed of her arrival but still they used his name. And the woman who birthed her? Nothing of that woman remained with her - at first. But then, a few days after her birth, the woman gave her two names - Renee Lorraine. The hospital insisted upon using the man's name as her last name however. Renee Lorraine McGee. She still belonged to no one, but now she had a name. It was a start. It is unclear how long she remained at the hospital, or where she w...

I feel bad about giving up Stevie (Erin). At the time I felt overwhelmed, helpless, very alone,  uncertain, unprepared, lost, frightened, unsupported and frightened about keeping her. I just could not see the HOW of it all. So I went for the other side, and ended up feeling empty and defeated, resigned and a little bit hopeful that maybe one day it would be okay. Today I still feel regret but I also feel love. Perhaps my hope was not misplaced after all. After all my difficulties growing up as an adopted child, I really felt like I had potentially thrown her to the wolves. I hoped and prayed her home would be better than mine, but I had no say. The social workers asked me what kind of home I hoped for her to be placed in, but I had no illusions that what I said actually mattered. I signed a paper giving up all rights. I knew they looked down on me and my situation. They were going to do exactly what they wanted, and never mind what I said. I told them I wan...

Written fall 2017 SALT SPRING ISLAND APPLE FESTIVAL It's a cool damp day on Salt Spring Island and most of the summer visitors have gone for this year. That being said, I have a friend coming this weekend to partake of the Sip and Savour event and the Apple Festival. She will even be helping to peel apples at the pie making bee at Fulford Harbour with the rest of the Women's Institute, aka the Pie Ladies. Should be interesting. I have been asked to do a blog for the Chamber of Commerce - a newcomer's blog essentially. What would I talk about? Where would I start? A lot of my time since I got here has been about my place - my yard, the garden, the house - and practical items like how to handle garbage and recycling? Where do I get firewood? What grocery store is the best one? How about a doctor? Who can build me a kennel? Who delivers items when I order online? Will there be creatures giving me grief - raccoons, otters, rats, mice? Are the people as nice as they seem? Is it ...

 2015 Whole New Chapter - Grand-Parenting Well, who would've thought that at my age I would be parenting - or in my case, grand-parenting? My grandson called and asked to come live with me. He has been feeling isolated and miserable for the past couple of years and thought he could find himself living here. We all know that Salt Spring is a magical island, so he may be just on the money! We have been sharing my home now for 3 weeks and it was quite an adjustment. I am very used to peace and quiet, and finding something exactly where I left it, and never having to think about someone else's needs, apart from my dog's. We have hit some bumps, but we seem to finding a way now. We share music and he even teaches me things in that area. We share a love of creating art so we have made pottery together. We both love to cook and are instituting a Sunday supper with friends into our routine. We are struggling with structure just now - trying to get to bed and up at the same time eac...