I feel "meh".

 Meh. The blahs continue.

So far this year alone 7 people I know have died. Since 2019 the death toll is 14!!! Man getting old sucks. Everyone starts dying!!!

Jim Helset, Sharon Shewchuk, Mary Dirks, Bev Byron, Simone, Cynthia, D'oreen. Last year Jill Lee committed suicide.  And in 2020 Elsy Perks died, John Ashlie, David Mullen, Gene Dryzmla and Sharon Hawke - Linda Wardroper the year before that.

 Some were just acquaintances but I still was affected by their loss.  And a couple more were members of groups I belong to so they were more significant. But the biggest loss was my friend who decided to die using MAID (medical assistance in dying) because her life just had nothing to live for anymore. She was in pain and so ill and was only getting worse and her support system was just not good enough. I miss her every day.

I want to have parties again. Ok not right away but I want to stop feeling like I am going to cry every minute.

I decided to start therapy, a good step I hope. 

I did play piano today for the first time in weeks. It was good. And talking to a new person yesterday at the Harvest Cafe was lovely too.

And then last night I zoomed with some St Joe's classmates for an hour or so. The men seem to remember so much more than I do. Perhaps they did more together? They remember where everyone lived! I remember only my close friends at the time. 

Michael claims he is still coming up to visit in a week or so. And Tabitha will be here next Friday with 2 shelties. I hope they don't bark non stop but I won't be home to hear it anyway, so - oh well! I hope Zelly doesn't throw a fit if they do,

Pie Bee Saturday - always  good time. Feeling useful and connected.

I usually felt good while doing a play but this last one was so difficult for me. So much unfocused unnecessary bullshit talking, mostly from the playwright! Argh. But while actually acting I was in the zone, even though I was so so sick for the last two weeks of it. I think it was covid though I tested negative. Barb and Wendy both tested positive the morning after the last show and I felt guilty I had given it to them. Although it is everywhere these days.

Today I need to plant some stuff and move some junk (I hate moving lumber!) so Todd Mitchell can take it to the dump.

I hope Monique can help me. Probably just talking with someone who is actually listening will help. It is hard that everyone is having a hard time - Sue with Larry, Charlie with her work and health situation, Cheryl with her house selling and buying. I need someone to just fucking laugh with and sing with for crying out loud!

I am so glad Ceilidh is with Stevie now, I do not miss her. I am happy all the puppy energy is gone and no more barking or managing a dog needed. What a stupid move that was buying her. But it worked out,. Although $2000 is a BIG birthday present.

We still have tickets to France but Stevie doesn't seem too enthused about the idea anymore,  Who else could I take instead? Or I could just gift the ticket to her and she can go with someone else. She said something one day about taking someone else with us  - as a buffer? I know we are good for a week but we will start to annoy one another after that.

Stacey would be a good travel companion, I bet.  And Seana Lee. 

French Braids - and when braids are removed.