Life CONUMDRUM
Oct 31, 2019 - Halloween da
I feel like I will be quitting everything next year - no more Womens' Institute, no more Hospice Board, maybe even no more bnb....maybe I will move to Ireland for a month in the summer - or in the fall.
I need to shake things up. I am getting old and lazy and unmotivated and I don't think it
is worth living like that. I am still healthy so I need to be exploring the world more.
So....after a couple of months of feeling very heavy, dark, sad and depressed, I reached out to my doctor. He asked me lost of very good questions and put me on Wellbutrin.. I felt more energy after only a couple of days and I talked with Marcia Burton who said it seems that a lot of my troubles are indeed related to stress from Hospice and all the responsibilities I took on.
Ah....I was thinking it was all in my head...I have taken on way too much. First doing the office, then the chair (well co chair but I still did way more than Paul), then Genevieve left and I took on the volunteer training/meetings, then Paul left and then other Paul left and Andrea says she is gone and Jaya stepped back from Grief Group and I said I would take that up, and then Carol says she is pulling back too Every time I felt another weight on my shoulders,
I am starting to shake that off. This is a group, a community and I do not have to shoulder it all.
We talked about what if I walked away entirely....I have trouble fathoming that. I might still feel responsible at some level. But between Pat and Lorinne and Sheryl and Carol I think we will come up with something. I don't really want to keep doing the board thing that much - at least not how it is now. It's not enough fun
Volunteer meetings can be fun. Grief groups can be fun Visiting people in hospital can be fun. But board meetings are really bored meetings. Too much policy and rules. Can we change that I wonder?
Anyway...I am off to Idaho next week for a change of pace
This next year is France, Ireland, maybe New Zealand, maybe Mexico, maybe New York, maybe Kenya. Except for the usual fears of going alone, it is kind of exciting to think about.
I feel like I will be quitting everything next year - no more Womens' Institute, no more Hospice Board, maybe even no more bnb....maybe I will move to Ireland for a month in the summer - or in the fall.
I need to shake things up. I am getting old and lazy and unmotivated and I don't think it
is worth living like that. I am still healthy so I need to be exploring the world more.
So....after a couple of months of feeling very heavy, dark, sad and depressed, I reached out to my doctor. He asked me lost of very good questions and put me on Wellbutrin.. I felt more energy after only a couple of days and I talked with Marcia Burton who said it seems that a lot of my troubles are indeed related to stress from Hospice and all the responsibilities I took on.
Ah....I was thinking it was all in my head...I have taken on way too much. First doing the office, then the chair (well co chair but I still did way more than Paul), then Genevieve left and I took on the volunteer training/meetings, then Paul left and then other Paul left and Andrea says she is gone and Jaya stepped back from Grief Group and I said I would take that up, and then Carol says she is pulling back too Every time I felt another weight on my shoulders,
I am starting to shake that off. This is a group, a community and I do not have to shoulder it all.
We talked about what if I walked away entirely....I have trouble fathoming that. I might still feel responsible at some level. But between Pat and Lorinne and Sheryl and Carol I think we will come up with something. I don't really want to keep doing the board thing that much - at least not how it is now. It's not enough fun
Volunteer meetings can be fun. Grief groups can be fun Visiting people in hospital can be fun. But board meetings are really bored meetings. Too much policy and rules. Can we change that I wonder?
Anyway...I am off to Idaho next week for a change of pace
This next year is France, Ireland, maybe New Zealand, maybe Mexico, maybe New York, maybe Kenya. Except for the usual fears of going alone, it is kind of exciting to think about.
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