This is the Time (March 30, 2020)

This is the Time

This is the time for reflection, for slowing everything down, for spending so much time along, for wondering about my family elsewhere and the world as a whole.

But this is also the time to look for the good, the beauty, the love, the care. As Mr. Rogers’ mother told him, “In a crisis, look for the helpers. There are always helpers.”

Personally, I decided to use this enforced downtime as a way to connect with all I love most so as to reorder my priorities and find a better balance. Before this I was feeling somewhat ruled by forced outside myself.  I suppose that’s ironic though since boy oh boy are we ruled by outside forces now!

Still I had previously made decisions and shouldered responsibilities that did not entirely resonate with my inner being. I aim to correct that.

When I sit back and check inside, mostly I am just waiting to see what will happen.

I have no brilliant insights. I do what I am told to do for everyone’s well-being, including my own. I putter, I walk. I notice the ocean and how it sparkles in the sunshine. I wonder if I will ever be able to be with my daughter again, or hug my grandsons or visit my sister and brothers and nephews.

But I don’t go down that road for long. It’s not a good place to hang out, so I bring myself back to here for now where we are safe. For now.

There must be hope. And yet the heaviness on my chest remains.

Is there not any more I can do help?  I have started to pray.