WANTING June 2020

> What do I want? Do I want?

I am feeling empty of any true wanting, and “normal” in-quotes wanting. There is an underlying, surrounding aura of dis-ease and rocky uneven ground and my eyes cannot see the horizon, the end point, or even the destination. I am not sure where we are all headed so...

I garden. I plant and I weed and I cu and I trim, and I smell the roses, admire the growing artichokes and squashes, add mulch, munch on pea pods and a strawberry, sit in the sun and drink a cool drink.

Other times I play music - on the piano, on the cello, even now and then he ukulele. Or I put on happy music to dance to while I cook. Sometimes I want certain things to eat - a small wanting,

Or I want to talk to a friend - so I call them.

But these are small wantings, not deep soulful wantings.

When other longings arise, I hold up my hand and say STOP! Don’t go down that thought process. No point.  There will be no travelling, no visiting family, no music festivals, no theatre and therefore no rehearsals.