APOLOGY FROM ADOPTIVE DAD (FANTASY)

 October. 2019


Dear See See Boo,

I am sorry I was not there for you when you needed me most.

I am sorry I let your mother take the lead and throw you out of the family when you found love in your teens.

I can explain that I was afraid of how I would be seen and judged and found to be a not-very-good parent.

I was afraid my patients would abandon me because they would see me as unfit. 

I was afraid your genetics determined all that happened.  I could not sway any of your actions

I did love you.  I love you still. You are my See See Boo and I was proud of you playing Bach on the piano. I was proud of your scholarship. The like people you chose as friends.  I saw you as strong and smart and beautiful.

I was a little afraid of your love for M. It was so intense, stronger than anything I had ever known. But M seemed to love you so much, and you were so happy. You seemed like a good match.

But when you became pregnant it was too much for me. I never looked at it from your vantage point. I didn’t see how you may have felt - afraid?  Excited? The natural result of your love?



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